On Enemies and Friends

When Yaakov Avinu is faced with his marauding brother and his 400 troops, he pleads with Hashem for assistance. The wording of his tefilla, however, gives us a fantastic insight into how Yaakov perceived the danger.
"הצילני נא מיד אחי, מיד עשו" "Save me please, from my brother, from Esav"
[Bereshis 32:12]
The straight understanding – as explained by Rashi [ad loc.] – tells us that Yaakov is mentioning the exceptional cruelty with which Esav is pursuing him. Not only is he employing his famed 'Esav' qualities by hunting them down with intent to kill – he is also ignoring their brotherly status, a double wrong.

Homiletically, however, the seforim kedoshim explain that what Yaakov is doing in the prayer is enumerating the possible outcomes and davening for salvation from each one. Possibility one – Esav catches up to them and acts out his 'Esav-ness', i.e. kills them – an undesirable outcome. Possibility two – Esav catches them and does not want to harm them at all ! Rather, he wants to rekindle his brotherliness with Yaakov. By mentioning this in his tefilla, Yaakov is teaching us that this is an equally undesirable outcome !

When it comes to the physical well being of his family – he is concerned lest Esav attempt to harm him. When it comes to their spiritual wellbeing, however, Yaakov Avinu is more afraid of Esav's friendly overtures.

A friend is a person whom you trust implicitly to look out for what's best for you. A real friend will do just that – with one major caveat - his assistance and caring will be colored by his own opinion. A simple friend would make sure that you had what you needed. A righteous friend might look out for your neshama. A wicked friend, however, will try to get you to join in his corruption. This isn't malicious – on the contrary – he is trying to perform in a friendly manner and 'hook you up' with whatever evil he is currently involved in ! The results for you are, understandably, disastrous.

Having an enemy is dangerous because it means that someone wants to do harm to you and yours. Having a friend like an Esav can be just as bad. When Yaakov Avinu begs for salvation from this confrontation – he is clearly begging against both of these outcomes.

Hatzlacha !!