When someone repents there can be many motivations – why am I suddenly doing what's right as opposed to what's wrong ? Among the most classic motives for bettering yourself is suffering, travails – all sorts of negative experiences that 'provoke' us into cleaning up our act. If G-d was not displeased with me, we reason, He would not have made me suffer so. Therefore, since I have clear recognition – or at least clear intention to avoid this suffering in the future – I repent.
In describing such a cycle, the passuk tells us : "And my anger will flare up at them on that day, and I shall leave them and hide My face from them – and they will be consumed [by their troubles] and many evils will find them – and on that day he will say 'behold, it is because my G-d is not in my midst [because I have sinned and turned away from Him] that these calamities have befallen me" [Devarim 31:17]
So why does Hashem proclaim in the next passuk, after man has recognized his sin, that he will then "hide his face" from him and more tragedy will befall him ?
The commentaries offer several possible answers. I would like to offer the following : Just because man has come to recognize deficiencies in his relationship to his creator doesn't mean he's corrected them – on the contrary – he is likely to settle back and congratulate himself for not being blinded by worldliness and physicality. In fact, this 'recognition' is far from the solution to his spiritual demise – it is an exacerbation ! That's why Hashem heaps punishment further upon him – because he has deluded himself that he is already on the road to betterment when he is really firmly entrenched in stagnation.
How can we avoid this faux teshuva ? Pitfalls await at every turn – especially for such a lofty goal as repentance. Our recourses are two : Firstly, be wary of the 'quick fix' teshuva, don't be lulled into a sense that once you've decided to clean up your act you are on G-d's good list – you're not , not yet - at least not until you begin to follow through. Secondly, pray. Pray a lot. Ask Hashem for assistance, not only in returning to him but also in making that return something deep and meaningful and real – not just superficial and perfunctory.
With Hashem's help, may we all merit to see our errors and only then begin the real work of correcting them and ourselves and being the kind of Jews we can be.
Gmar Chasima Tova to all and …
Hatzlacha !!
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