Sons To The Heavenly Father

The prohibition against self mutilation ( a common mourning practice in ancient times ) comes with the following introduction : "You are children to Hashem, your G-d, do not cut yourselves ..." [Devarim 14:1]

Obviously, this special familial relationship is intended to give us some background depth into the prohibition.

Rashi, quoting chazal, tells us that princes and princesses should never be in a state of dishevelment - and that this is the equivalent for us.

The Ramban offers an explanation that runs dearer to my heart - often children don't understand the actions of their parents. What may seem as cruel ( taking away or limiting the candy intake ) is really for the child's best ( eating your weight in candy is unadvisable - which the child would probably do if left to their own devices ).

Now, with older children - they usually claim to have a monopoly on wisdom - frequently to the specific exclusion of their parents - but in our case there is no parallel - Hashem knows best, always.

And so the acts of mutilation - or any other extreme sign of utter despondency in mourning - is inappropriate because, deep down, we are just children and our Father In Heaven is doing what's best.

Oh, we may cry - because it hurts - that's ok - but to feel that life cannot go own because of this loss - that's inappropriate - because if G-d did it - He must have had a good reason. And the only consolation that we can have is that, we may not like it, but, the same hand that is taking away our loved one - is also holding us in a tight embrace - telling us - "shhhhhh - all will be well, eventually"

May we be zocheh to truly feel ourselves to be on the path to destiny, guided by the loving hand of G-d Himself - and may we always be able to put our pain in this perspective - that we don't/can't know why - just that there is a good reason.

Hatzlacha !